To help or to enable?

The first call arrived at 2:07 am. By the time my son heard my cell phone ringing, it was 2:30, 4 calls later.

Dad, you better answer the phone he said. I think it's one of the migrants.

I knew the news wasn't going to be good. I don't think I have ever gotten a call in 4 years in which a migrant has said, "Hey Joe, Good news. The price of tomatoes has gone up. I'm rich" -- especially in the middle of the night. No, I knew that the news couldn't be good. 

I recognized ______________'s voice (Let's call him Marco) immediately. He was in a complete panic. He was speaking faster than usual which made it nearly impossible for me to understand his mixture of Spanish and a Mayan dialect spoken in a remote region in the land of his birth: Guatemala. 

My car has been taken. I am near the airport. I have to walk home. Can you give me a ride?

Have you been in an accident? I asked. What do you mean your car was taken? Have you been robbed? 

My head was already beginning to hurt from fatigue and the concentration required for me to understand what Marco was trying to explain to  me. 

The police are here. They are taking my car. 

And then a minute or two after of string of sentences that made no sense to me,I finally thought to ask Marco to give his phone to the police officer.

This is Officer __________ and your friend's court date is on July _____. He was stopped for crossing over the center line. I then discovered that he had no license and no registration. 

He's in some real trouble, the officer added.

To be completely honest, I became extremely angry. Not with the police officer who was only doing his job. Not with the tow truck driver who was only doing his job.  I became angry at Marco, a man who had three children (one a new born), asleep in a single,  musty  room  without windows at one the 11 migrant camps on St. Helena. He is the one who chose to take some friends and going riding at 2:00 am on St. Helena. He was the one to :"only have two beers." He was the one who decided to drive without insurance and without a license. He was the one who put his dream of providing a better for his family in complete jeopardy. He was the selfish one.

I also  became mad at myself for caring. To be honest, Marco is not even one of my students. He is not an OSY although his brother (Let's say Juan) is an OSY. Part of me wanted to say, It's time to grow up my friend and learn about the consequences of your choices. In essence, you're on your own.  After all, there is nothing in my job description that I have to go out in the middle of the night to help out the older brother of a student I barely know.

Just when I thought I could wash my hands of this situation, I thought about his young wife with serious medical problems and about his children who would suffer the most from their father's poor choices. I knew that I had to go and pick him up. 

I never want to become an enabler for the destructive behavior of another human being. However, I never want to harden my hard when others are in true need around me. I decided to act on the behalf of the children and spouse, not on the behalf of their father and children.

Both of my sons decided to accompany me on the late night trip to pick up Marco. I was proud that I did not even have to ask them. I think they wanted to be there "just in case." They "had my back" so to speak.

When we picked Marco up on the side of the road, I did not smell any alcohol on his breath. He was not acting any differently than he had earlier in the day when I briefly saw him at lunch during his 30 minute break from picking tomatoes. To be honest, I had no idea if he understand how much trouble he was in.

No Marco, you cannot buy car insurance without a license.

No Marco, you cannot drive a car without a license. 

No Marco, you cannot drink and drive. It is wrong. It is crazy. 

You need to understand that you were very lucky tonight, Marco. The officer could have and probably should have arrested you and placed you in jail. 

Of course all of my preaching seemed to be to no avail.

Again, he began to ask questions that let me know that either he didn't understand how serious the situation was or that he was in complete denial. 

Can you help m buy insurance tomorrow so I can get my car back? he pleaded. I have to take my wife to the hospital on Tuesday. 

I told him I would call him in the morning, and we dropped him off at the door of his one room home.

Today, I have spent too much time talking to Marco and the tow truck driver trying to  set up a time in which the car can be towed back to Marco's camp. The driver has been pretty decent. He is worried that Marco will try to drive the car before the court date.  Tobe more accurate, he "knows that Marco will drive the car again and that somebody is going to get hurt or in serious trouble." He wants me to tell Marco that if he drives the car again and is stopped, he will spend considerable time in jail. I will try to explain the consequences to Marco who will either not understand their significance or think that he "won't be stopped again."

So finally, the tow truck driver will deliver the vehicle to the camp tonight and expect a cash payment in the amount of $395--and that is just for towing last night, today, and a $45 housing fee for the car today. This charge will not begin to cover the fines he will have to pay on his court date. 

At 65 cents per bucket of tomatoes, Marco will have to work in the fields for several weeks to pay off the fines for his joy ride last night. I only hope he can learn from his experience.

I only hope I can always know whether or not I am helping others as opposed to enabling them.